


Dark and Light

by For_the_moment



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anti's mean, Cutting/self harm, Dark and Anti are refered to as darks or darker-selves, Dark can get suicidal, Depression, Dirty Thoughts, F/F, M/M, Other, Poor Jack and Mark, Signe and Amy don't acutally appear (not sure if they will), Suicidal Thoughts, The warnings may change, These tags may change, Well this sounds darker than it is... puns, body image issues, hinted masturbation, inappropriate thoughts, that's a warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-08-28 10:55:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8443183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/For_the_moment/pseuds/For_the_moment
Summary: In a world where everyone has a "dark" version of themselves...Two YouTubers (Mark and Jack) try to find their soulmate before their darks get the best of them.
If you recognize this summary it is because it's the same as Darks by Not__Misha__Collins. You can find a link to their profile and story in the notes of the first chapter. Thanks so much for letting me use this idea!





	1. Darks Prolog: Hey, I just met You

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Darks](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4753901) by [Not__Misha__Collins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not__Misha__Collins/pseuds/Not__Misha__Collins). 



> I'll say it now and again in the next chapter, most of the bad stuff is only hinted at or referenced. One of such things is that Dark cuts but it is neither graphic or even done outright. Perhaps later in the story it might happen, but until then such things are just referred to. So far the only blood and injury is when Jack damages his hand getting mad at Anti. When all of this comes up again I'll warn you again, but until then enjoy this fanfiction and please be respectful to those it's based off of, after all this is a work of fiction.

“WAPSH! TOP OF THE MORNIN’ TO YA LADDIES! My name is Jacksepticeye and welcome to this vlog!” Jack smiled at the camera. “Ah, a few weeks ago I did a reading your comment’s video and one of you asked about my dark. Um, and I told you that his name was Dark-Septic, or Antisepticeye. It’s like me being Jack and Sean. We answer to both. Uh, but anyway, I’ve noticed that a lot of you have also been asking to meet him. So I asked him and he was more than happy to come on and introduce himself so uh here’s—” Jack was suddenly pushed from his chair and he let out a loud cry of surprise.

Suddenly his green and black chair was filled with someone else who looked distinctly similar to Jack, apart from tips of fangs sticking out from his top lip like a vampire fangs and his right eye being lime green where white would be. “TOP OF THE EVENING TO YA LADIES! WAPSH!”

Anti fake-fived the screen similar to what Jack had done as the man in question called out from the floor, “Fuck! You bastard!”

Anti let out a cackle from low in the belly.

_Dark’s heart suddenly hurled itself at his ribs and his breath suddenly decided to reverse itself in his throat._

Jack pulled himself up using the chair arm and pushed a laughing Anti out of it. Anti rolled off the seat and with an oomph landed on the floor, still cracking up.

Jack sighed exasperatedly, “Right, so that was him.”

Mirroring Jack, Anti pulled himself back up into view of the camera, smiling and showing off his fangs which now could be seen as his entire set of teeth as he waved. “Nice to finally meet ya fuckers!”

Jack pushed on Anti’s face, “Shuddup Anti.”

Anti’s cheek was squished and his nose was pushed off to the side, he had to close his green eye to protect it from being poked out as Jack pushed him.

“Oh come on Jackyboy!” Anti taunted his voice high and squeaky like Jack’s impression of Flowey, “Ashamed of me are ya?”

“God you’re annoying!” Jack commented as he looked back at the camera, giving up his attempt to push Anti away.

Anti giggled. “Whatever!”

Jack sighed again. “Anyway I’ve gathered up some of the questions you guys have wanted to ask him.”

“Oh they’ve been asking about me? How sweet!” Anti said sarcastically.

Jack sighed again, a bit more heavily as he pulled up his notes, “Um, what’s your relationship with Jack?”

“Oh we’re best bros!” Anti swung an arm around Jack’s shoulder. But with Jack’s obvious discomfort, it wasn’t hard to see that that wasn’t exactly right.

“Anti get the fuck off of me.” Jack growled.

Anti just giggled, “The very best bros!” He ended up climbing onto Jack’s lap.

Jack let out a huff and squirmed, “Get off me!” He yelled.

Anti cracked up again at the struggle. Jack was finally able to lift Anti off of him and throw him out of his lap.

Off camera Anti let out a yell, “Ow that hurt you fucker!”

Jack sighed heavily again, “Are you evil?” He asked reading off the paper.

Still off camera Anti gave Jack a smile. It wasn’t a good smile either.

On camera Jack looked a bit fearful at the menacing look he was getting. He almost seemed to be curling up into himself to hide.

Anti began to crawl towards him. Watching, Jack felt sick in his stomach and paralyzed. “What do you think? Jackyboy?”

The camera suddenly cut and it was just Anti sitting in the chair. “Alright, now that that loser’s out of the way we can get on with it!”

Anti exaggeratedly flicked the pages of notes. “Ugh why does the bastard have to have such bad handwriting? Why didn’t he just print these things? Is he really that stupid?”

Anti squinted at the questions. Finally picking one he read it aloud to the camera, “Will you ever be in one of Jack’s videos?” He threw up the notes and said, “Surprise bitches I’m here! And I do plan on being in more.” He gave the camera a shit eating grin.

_Dark touched the phone screen lightly, accidentally pausing the video. He didn’t seem to mind as he stared longingly at Anti’s grin. He slid his finger across it and accidentally un-paused the video._

Anti huffed, realizing he had to pick up the papers if he wanted to keep answer questions. He grabbed a random page nearest him and read the first question off.

“How well do you and Jack get along?” Anti huffed, “He’s annoying as shit, and so am I. So we get along as well as you’d expect.”

Anti scanned the paper in his hand for another question. He found one that he liked and tossed the paper aside and said to the camera, “Do you ever make Jack insecure? Hell ya! I mean that’s what we darks do. We fuck with your psyche. Technically we are your insecurities, or we feed off them, I don’t know, some bullshit like that. Some of us lower self-confidence best, others of us aim to drive our lights to insanity. I like doing that. It’s fun.”

Anti once again picked up a page close to him and looked over the questions. He found one that apparently made him upset, as he sneered at the paper, “What’s your favorite color?”

Anti raspberried, “The fuck kind of question is that? Like what the fuck?” He stared straight at the camera frowning, “God, I don’t fucking know. The idiot doesn’t have one in particular so I can’t really either! Uh that’s a lie, he likes ALL the colors, like a fucking tool. Heh, GGAAAAAAYY!”

Anti chuckled and looked over the questions in his hand, “Ugh!” He growled, “Do you have a favorite animal? You know at least this person was smart enough to ask if I have one not what it is. And no I don’t have a favorite animal.”

He threw the paper behind him and grabbed another one, “Do you have any special powers?”

A suggestive grin filled the lower half of Anti’s face. “Does being sexy as fuck count?” Anti suddenly went about raising up his shirt and playing with his nipple while licking his lips and sticking out his long slimy tongue. “Any other questions?”

_Is there any way to get your dick in my mouth?_

Anti let out a cackle as he let his shirt drop. He wiped a fake tear from his eye as he reached down for another paper. The video cut to Jack back on screen glaring at Anti who was laughing. Jack was yelling, “Fuck you, do you understand how much editing this is going to take?!”

Jack let out a frustrated yell and sat in his big green and black chair again, “Anyways that’s it for this video. If you liked it—”

“Punch that like button in the dick like a pussy!” Anti screamed over top of Jack.

Jack scowled at Anti and tackled him and the two fell out of the camera’s view.

There was no rest of the outro or last minute thing at the end. Dark stared at the screen of Mark’s phone as he watched the little play button and automatic play-next come onto the screen.

Dark felt his head spinning and his stomach was having a tantrum of butterflies. He fell back on his bed running a hand through his dark red hair. He didn’t completely understand what he was feeling, he wasn’t even sure if he liked it. He sighed, feeling the ever looming weight of his depression come over him again as his thoughts drifted off to how insignificant and meaningless his life really was.

Tears were already forming and Dark wondered if maybe Mark could help him. It was four in the morning but sometimes if Mark was in a good mood he would read fan mail to him to cheer him up.

Dark got up and began tiptoeing his way across the hall to Mark’s room. He wasn’t even to the door when he heard a loud groan through the walls.

Dark stumbled back a few feet. He wondered what Mark was doing to cause such a reaction. Was he hurt? Did Dark care? Would it matter in the grand scheme of things?

Probably not.

So what would it matter if Dark did want to care?

Resolving to move forward and make sure his lighter side wasn’t dying without him, he got to the door and was greeted with the sound of pants and moans. Bitten off words and sounds that didn’t always match up.

Dark cocked his head and tried to open the door, but found it locked. He pouted silently, about to knock when a coherent word came flying through the door, “SEAN!” another few moans and more words were flittering their way into Dark’s ears.

“Oh, oh please!” Faint growls between phrases. “Yes, yes, YES!” “M-more. Yes yes like that—!” Panting, a moan, “Oh Sean yes! P-please.” A grunt, a groan. “You-you’re so tight uh.” “Uh! Hng Sean!” “I-I I’m going to—!” A loud moan, closer to a scream made Dark run back to his room.

Dark felt as if he’d been violated in some way. As if an innocence that was never really there had been ripped away from him. He fell face first into his bed, utterly disappointed and hoping that the pillow would suffocate him some time in the night.


	2. Darks Part 1: Hate is Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darks aren't really evil, but they can certainly seem like it. 
> 
> A day in a life of Dark and Mark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This next chapter does not take place directly after the previous, no distinct length of time is given, just know this is sometime after, but not directly.
> 
> Also, trigger warning: Hints of self-harm are in this. It's not out right stated but, I think you guys could get it.

Mark blinked his whiskey eyes open to beaming sunlight rays. He got up out of his bed and went to his kitchen to make himself some cereal. It was just going to be another normal, boring day.

He made himself a bowl, sitting at his kitchen table eating slowly. He grumbled to himself slightly, irritated that he lacked his phone that he would usually scroll through and answer some things on tumblr, twitter, and other social media sites before beginning his day of recording.

However lately the entity that lived with him, a gray skinned dark red haired male that was known as Darkiplier, was stealing his phone a lot more often than usual.

He wasn’t entirely sure why.

He had a few guesses. Dark (a nickname Mark and others had used for him) was depressed, sulky, and a tad suicidal. Mark also believed he was something of a masochist because he would constantly go on social media sites and dwell solely on the hate.

There was honestly no pleasing this manifestation either. Over the lifetime Mark had spent with this doppelganger it seemed the curter he’d be with Dark.

Dark wasn’t evil by any means, though he could lower your confidence in a millisecond. But he’d constantly sulk and go through existential crises. It was honestly more than Mark himself could handle at times. It was exhausting trying to keep his darker version of himself from doing something irrational while also doing his best to keep him at arm’s length, less Mark himself become a victim of lowered self-confidence.

There was only one way to satisfy Darkiplier, any dark for that matter. It was to find and fall in love with your soulmate. This would cause the two darks to bond and become happy, thus elevating their purpose in this world and dissipating into nothingness, leaving the lights to live the rest of their lives happily together.

Back to the phone problem, Dark would always find something on the internet (already being a cesspool of hate) that would ultimately depress him. Then it would be Mark’s responsibility to get the dark back to normal levels of sadness so he wouldn’t end up finding black goo in the bathroom sink he’d eventually have to clean. The goo Mark had learned around the time he was eleven was Dark’s version of blood. Wonderful to think about.

Wow, it was easy to get side tracked, probably Mark’s ADHD coming into play. But yeah, Dark stole his phone to wallow in self-misery and Mark wasn’t about to make himself company. Still, Mark felt responsible for his own dark. He wanted the manifestation of his inner dark thoughts to find happiness. Mark was just having trouble doing that.

Mark sighed, finishing his cereal and getting up to look for his phone and then record his videos for the day.

He heard a dissatisfied groan come from Dark’s room. Of course.

The door was left ajar and Mark knocked lightly as he pushed it open to see Dark sitting on the bed, sulking. “What is it this time Dark?” Mark never meant to be so curt but by god this was almost a daily thing and it wasn’t healthy for either of them.

Dark looked up at his light, “Th-that video you put up a week ago, there’s so many hate comments Mark. Everyone hates you.” Dark looked away putting hand over his eyes and began to cry.

Mark saw his phone beside Dark as the doppelganger curled in on himself. Mark sighed, “Really Dark? How many hate comments exactly?” When this came up Mark had to be extra careful he didn’t let what Dark was saying enter his head. Not _everyone_ hated him, every big celeb, especially internet celebs had haters, it was normal, nothing to worry about.

“Like nine or ten.” Dark muttered picking up the phone again, to continue to scroll. His mind never registering the various comments of people writing how hard they laughed at Mark’s jokes or how great Mark was at the game.

These were the moments Mark really wished Dark had stayed a reflection in his mirror. Sighing, Mark rubbed his eyes, it was too damn early for this, “Out of how many comments?”

After a moment of pause Dark answered. “About twenty-thousand.” Dark’s voice was soft and sad, a sigh somewhere in there, like he would really rather be doing something else, maybe something productive, but just didn’t have the energy to do so.

“Exactly.” Mark said firmly, stepping further into the room, walking up to Dark, “Now give me my phone back.” He snatched the small machine out of Dark’s hand and turned heel before he could feel guilty about the sulking look Dark was giving him as he left the room to record.

As he got into his office he looked through his phone as he began to set up. Notifications for Steam, a few new emails, fan letters, spam. Right, he’d save the fan letters to print out later to read to Dark. For whatever reason, hearing compliments in Mark’s voice (perhaps he related it to his own voice) allowed Dark’s brain chemicals to even out a little bit and be a little less of a pain in Mark’s ass.

Bob had called him, wondering if he wanted to do another collab of prop hunt with him, Wade and Jack.

Continuing to shift through Mark eventually came to a text message sent sometime in the night, it was from his best friend across the sea, Jacksepticeye, or Jack.

_Hey_.


	3. Darks Part 2: Never be Satisfied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why should Jack even bother looking? It's not like there was anyone really meant to free him of Dark-Septic's clutches.
> 
> Anti has a loose construct of feelings. Unfortunately, satisfaction isn't one of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here's our first real Anti chapter! YAY! Tell me what you think, because sometimes the characterizations of these characters mix me up. 
> 
> You think the dating site should come into play later? I will eventually need ideas to continue this story!

Jack stared at his bright blue computer screen that showed him faces of happy, soulmated couples. A dating website. Was he really getting that desperate to get rid of that stupid Dark-Septic? God he was pathetic.

He’d just finished up too, when his phone dinged. He looked to see the text come up. **Hey, what’s up?**

It was like he knew. It was like Mark knew Jack was trying to move on. Trying to forget him, and Mark wasn’t about to let him go that easily.

Jack stared blankly at the screen. It had been hours since Jack had sent the first text. But of course he remembered about the time difference and wasn’t too worried about Mark not answering right away.

“Why do you bother?”

Jack jumped in his seat as the sudden sound of his voice… no, Anti’s voice came from behind him. He gritted his teeth and snarled, “Fuck off Anti.”

Anti cackled. “Oh please, Jacky, I can’t do that now can I?”

Jack felt his nails bite into his palms. “What the fuck do you want?”

The clone looked over Jack’s shoulder to the blue dating website. Jack quickly pressed the red X at the corner and suddenly that site was gone and YouTube up for all to see.

Dark-Septic, better known as Anti, just chuckled again straightening himself as Jack quickly exited his sites and deleted his browsing history just in case Anti got any bright ideas.

“A dating site Jack?” Anti said condescendingly and Jack desperately tried to pay no mind to the voice that had once only been in his head. “Everyone will know it’s you Jack. You’re aren’t subtle at all.”

Anti had his hands behind his back as he walked around to the other side of Jack, kneeling. “Speaking of which.” Anti reached for Jack’s phone but the light quickly snatched it away.

“Don’t you fucking dare you little bitch.” Jack growled.

Anti sighed exasperatedly and stood again, “They aren’t going to accept you. I mean, you have been lying to them for years right?”

“Shut. Up!” Jack hissed. His voice, to his disappointment, was shaky.

Anti looked down to Jack’s fist clutching his phone. “Is that why you joined a dating website?” The tone was high, a mocking question. “You can’t stop thinking about him, so put yourself out there, try to forget…” Less of a question more of an observation.

Jack felt sick at Anti’s smirk, “I know how you think Sean. Don’t think I don’t know what’s been going on up there in that—” Anti suddenly stepped forward and poked Jack’s forehead aggressively with each word to emphasize, “Dirty. Stupid. Twisted. Naïve and childish mind.”

Jack batted his doppelganger’s hand away. “Anti I swear to god—!”

“Maybe you should start trying to think about girls again.” For whatever reason Anti couldn’t discern this shut Jack up effectively. Anti knew it would get under his skin. Jack had assumed himself straight for most of his life until a suave young German-Korean waltzed his pert ass into his life.

The Irishman had never had a problem with others being gay. But it was that pesky internalized homophobia that had Anti able to keep Jack at bay with such sentiments.

“I…” Jack started weak and it appeared he’d stay that way, “I can’t help… who I am… Okay?”

Asking permission? A crumbling resolve.

“Oh of course not!” Anti reassured backhandedly, “But like they’d care.” And air of indifference, nose upturned.

Jack was looking down, his hair falling in his face. His heart beat just a little slower. A darkness setting over his soul.

Anti felt nearly satisfied… no that wasn’t quite the feeling… what was it… he couldn’t put a name to the bubbles that were in his stomach at seeing his light half look ready to cry. It angered him for whatever reason. He growled, suddenly launching himself at Jack, grabbing his wrist’s that hand held the phone. “Go ahead!” He growled, shaking the hand. “Text him back. Spill your heart to him. See what he thinks of you then.”

Jack glared at Anti as he let go of Jack’s wrist, throwing it down and nearly making him drop the phone. Anti watched Jack look back to the computer screen, the memory of the dating website still fresh. Anti cackled as he saw Jack’s lower lip tremble.

He left the room, feeling his work was done for now, sure that Jack was just going to cry in his computer chair for a few hours and forget about the text.

_Hey Mark, nothing much_.


	4. Darks Part 3: Forever in Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark has always tried to keep Dark at a distance so he wouldn't believe whatever Dark was saying to him. Now he was beginning to see holes were there shouldn't be.
> 
> Dark had never had any real power over Mark before. The ability to completely devastate his confidence in himself. Now it seems, the shields are low enough that Dark can finally get in a few blows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter comes directly after the Mark’s POV chapter.
> 
> What Dark says to Mark is inspired by Don't Forget Me's version of Anti and how he thinks of Mark. I added some things but not all the things Dark could say to him because I don't want to repeat myself. 
> 
> Let me know about any concerns you have or questions because I am willing to answer.

Mark had been so caught up in the game he was playing, he hadn’t known Dark had taken his phone until he heard his office door slam.

He’d jumped and turned around seeing as he knew he wasn’t playing a horror game at the moment. He stared absently at the empty space where his phone once was. He cursed under his breath and went back to his game.

. . .

Mark was editing, hours later, when he heard the office door squeak open. He paused his editing and turned to see Dark with puffy red eyes and tear stained cheeks. Oh. Fucking wonderful.

“Mark?” The whimper came and Mark cringed, “Tumblr—”

“Please stop this.” Mark stood, cutting off his dark half, he just couldn’t today, and he didn’t want to any other day either.

Dark burst into tears and Mark had to look away. He couldn’t look at this gray-skinned person without feeling like he himself was a pathetic human being.

Dark suddenly let out a strangled grunt and threw Mark’s phone away from him.

“Hey! The fuck! ” Mark cried out watching his phone bounce on the floor, “Don’t break my fucking phone!”

Dark just sobbed harder. He curled in on himself and ended up in the fetal position on the floor, “What good are material objects if, in the vast plain of existence, we are all destined to die!” Dark wailed, pushing his face into the carpet.

Mark sighed, rubbing his face. “Did you have _another_ existential crisis?” Honestly, Mark wasn’t surprised anymore.

Dark choked a little, he hoped he wouldn’t stop choking.

Mark sighed again, he walked over to his double and helped him up. Mark took him into his room and sat down on the bed with Dark.

He did his best to keep the manifestation of his inner turmoil at arm’s length while at the same time comfort him in any way possible.

Dark leaned on his shoulder and Mark stiffened.

It took maybe two hours of Mark telling him about all the wonderful things the commenters on his latest videos were saying, (and Dark quickly counteracting them with how they were wrong) for Dark to finally stop feeling like he was completely meaningless in the universe. At least, he was distracted from the inevitable for now, anyway.

“See Dark? They like us.”

Dark had his breath back and he opened his eyes, he stared down at Mark’s hand that was holding the darkened screen of his phone.

As subtly as he could he reached for it, while asking, “Sure, yeah. Where… where’s Jack?”

Mark pulled his phone away from Dark’s gray hand and gave his darker self a scrutinizing look as he pulled away, “Jack? He's at his home, in Ireland. Why are you asking about Jack?”

Dark shrugged, still eyeing the phone, “Have you seen his dark? Dark-Septic or Antisepticeye?”

Mark caught on to the tone Dark used when saying Jack’s dark’s name. He’d never admit it out loud, but in his own private thoughts he knew that was often the same tone he’d use to say Jack’s name.

Mark smirked at his dark waving the phone temptingly at him. “Does Darky have a crush?” He said in a sing song tone. Mark was suddenly taken back when he watched gray skin darken almost to black.

“N-no!” Dark stuttered, he suddenly crossed his arms and pouted, “Okay… maybe a small one…” a distant look accompanied the statement.

Mark was beaming at him, maybe this was the distraction Dark and Mark both needed. Jack and his dark. Mark almost felt giddy at the idea of getting the two together… perhaps it was even a chance to get rid of them once and for all! Maybe Jack could lo—

Mark’s thoughts were interrupted by Dark grabbing his phone out of his hand and barking out hollow condescending laughter. He’d noticed the sparkle in Mark’s eye at the mention of Jack. Dark gave Mark a disapproving look.

“But you have a crush too! Admit it!” Dark waved Mark’s phone mockingly in his face. The dark actually laughed for once, but it was just because Mark was so pathetic that he didn’t realize what was right in front of him.

Frantic for a moment at seeming to be found out Mark lunged for his phone, “Give that back!”

Dark danced around the room, rolling off his bed to avoid Mark, “You have to admit it Markimoo! Don’t think I don’t hear you at night in your bedroom.” The irritating teasing voice made Mark’s face light up.

“Give me my damn phone back!” Mark cried, lunging again, grabbing Dark’s hand and trying to yank it out.

“You probably look up septiplier porn.” Dark muttered more off handedly, thinking he might go through Mark’s browsing history later.

Mark ripped the phone from Dark’s hands and yelled, “ENOUGH!”

Dark took a frightened step back, raising his hands, “O-okay, okay!”

Mark was fiddling with his phone, probably deleting that browser history.

Dark pouted in disappointment. He sighed, “But look Mark.”

Mark looked up at his double in confusion. What exactly was he supposed to look at?

“You have to face facts Mark, he’s out of your league.” Dark shook his head, shrugging, pushing the thoughts of Dark-Septic out of his head.

Mark blinked owlishly. “W-what?”

Dark rolled his eyes, “What attributing qualities could you… I’m sorry, _we_ … give him?” Dark made sure to remind Mark that he pretty much was him. If he was a pathetic cry baby, so was Mark.

Mark opened his mouth to defend himself. This was what he’d been afraid of.

“Oh what? You’re going to say, let me guess, the floof? The hair all the fan girls want to run their hands through?” Dark hissed, tone bitter, “Your looks? Your voice? The only thing that keeps people from calling your immaturity annoying and stupid. It's deep and sensual sure, but what are you? A sex toy?”

“ _Shallow_.” Dark bit out. “That’s what you are. Hey, maybe Jack’s just using you. Ever think of that? You were famous, he decided to cash in. Now, he doesn’t need you because he’s successful, giving you a run for your money.”

Mark’s throat was dry. He was desperately fighting back tears as he shook his head. He couldn’t let these thoughts get to him. He had to be strong. “No!” His voice cracked, “N-no, Jack would never! He’s too sincere! Too genuine he’d never use me like that! He was successful on his own terms and I’m proud of him for that! I’m happy for him!” Mark felt his gut twist when he realized the highness of his voice was more him trying to reassure himself.

Dark shrugged, nodding, “You’re right. Jack _is_ too genuine, too sweet.” He glared at Mark, “He’s too good… _for you_!” Dark thrust an accusing finger at his lighter half. “What’s the character you portray on your channel?” Dark was now marching around the room, almost having fun with this.

“Oh yeah, arrogant, self-absorbed, ego-maniac!” With each word Mark felt like he was being punched in the gut. "You think that's the kind of man Jack deserves? Anyone fucking deserves?"

Dark kept going, "You’re a piss poor gamer, you’re easily enraged when something doesn’t go your way. A prideful little whiner that hardly ever acts his true age. An idiot, a fool on the internet that happens to have what is it now? Over ten? Over _fifteen_ million people _laughing at his stupidity_.”

This was the first time in years Mark had felt physically sick about these things as he stood and listened to his dark-self rant about how pathetic they really were. “Don’t…” Mark’s voice was soft, shaky… _pathetic_. “Don’t talk like that.”

Dark huffed and rolled his eyes. This was something semi-new to him, the last time he’d done this was after Mark’s last girlfriend had broken up with him and it wasn't nearly as bad. Everything had been going to hell and Dark felt that it was the end of the both of them, but still, it didn't feel anything like what was happening now. It was odd really, it felt almost… satisfying? No that wasn’t the right word… he couldn’t place what he was feeling. He looked to Mark, in a similar position to what he normally was in. Slouching shoulders, head tilted to the ground, and about ready to cry at any second.

Except Dark could let go of his emotions, he had no shame. Mark on the other hand held it in, because he thought it made him… manly.

Dark burst into tears, wailing and throwing himself on the bed, tucking his head under the pillow, gripping the phone he held in his fist.

It was silent save for Dark’s sobbing.

Finally, Mark turned and left the room without saying a word. Mark could only think of how lucky some of his friends were, they’d found their soulmates and didn’t have to deal with this anymore. And also… maybe Dark was right… Mark was alone, waiting for his One to come find him, but maybe he didn’t have a One, a soulmate… Maybe he was one of the unfortunate souls that got stuck with their darks forever.

When Dark heard the door click shut he opened his eyes and looked out from underneath his pillow. Mark was gone.

Dark sighed. The feeling was gone. He looked at the phone in his hand. He looked at it and began to browse YouTube again. It had once only been Mark that kept him company, now… now it was also Dark-Septic that filled his thoughts.

It was hours later when Mark came to snatched his phone away from Dark once again. It was okay though; Dark had run out of videos with Anti in them.


	5. Darks Part 4: Looking Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You see the truth in the same way you’d look in broken mirror shards. The sharp fragments hurt and what you were seeing was only a piece that may have been easily misinterpreted because it wasn’t whole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning of violence towards inanimate objects that result in a bloody, possibly broken hand.

Jack wasn’t one to stand in front of mirrors for hours at a time. He was usually busy with his job. He had better things to do than stand and stare at his reflection. Especially when he felt sick in the stomach to see it. Looking at himself reflected back to him reminded him that he wasn’t the only one that looked like this.

Darks could sometimes reflect themselves back to their lights through reflected surfaces. Other times they were voices in the head that could be ignored sometimes and other times not. If they were exceptionally strong they could become a separate personality or even entity. This usually happened when people grew older or develop mental illnesses. And let’s face it, adulthood was the worst illness people could catch. If you haven’t noticed it’s depressing as fuck.

Regardless here he was, in his bathroom staring into his own blue eyes obscured slightly by his green hair.

He sighed and blew a few strands away. He wished he knew whose thoughts were permeating his mind at the moment. When Anti had only been a small voice in his head, he’d painted a picture of what the reflection showed. With Jack beginning to believe in the image, Anti grew stronger and thus was able to become Jack’s reflection.

It soiled Jack’s image of himself. He didn’t use to think of himself as ugly, he never thought much about his appearance at all. But then Anti decided to give his two cents…

Jack knew Anti never told the truth. Or at least made you see the truth in the same way you’d look in a broken mirror. The sharp fragments hurt and what you were seeing was only a piece that may have been easily misinterpreted because it wasn’t whole.

“Ugly bastard.” Jack muttered, glaring at his reflection. He’d like to think he was secretly talking to Anti, a faint connection from the time the dark had spent trapped in the mirror. “Stupid.”

There were some darks that lowered confidence, others it was self-esteem. The difference was subtle and sometimes the two couldn’t be discerned. But for Jack, it definitely was self-esteem, and it pissed him off to no end. He hated that he'd let this apparition of his doubts play him like a fiddle when it came to those things.

Jack was biting back tears. It had been a while since he’d sent that text to Mark.

Damn it, Jack didn’t mean to be clingy. It was just… it was so lonely here. Dark-Septic wasn’t exactly the best company to have or to come home to.

With no one close around to silence Anti for even a short amount of time, the isolation and hopelessness was getting harder to ignore.

His last girlfriend, before his sexuality had been in question, had silenced Anti somewhat. At first the two had thought that meant they were soulmates. A common mistake.

Darks were both silenced when one found the One they were destined to be with or a close friend that would help keep their heads above water until they found their One.

No, it turned out that his last girlfriend’s soulmate had actually been a young woman Mark had been trying to pursue. Jack assumed Mark was under the same impression he’d been when that'd all happened.

Of course the two friends had given their blessings to the girls. He and Mark would never had tried to get in the way of two soulmates (and by extension the relief of a dark over your shoulder). Honestly, Jack was happy for them, and he was sure Mark was too.

Of course though, that meant that this young woman was not the one that would take his dark away. He was still stuck with the pain-in-the-ass, Anti.

Which was the real reason he was still standing and staring in his bathroom at his mirror.

“Why would someone like him ever want someone like you?” The thought was bitter and sad and hearing it muttered aloud by Jack’s own voice, made it all the more real.

Anti was no longer a voice in his head, now a separate entity that made his waking life hell rather than his dreaming life. Still… It sometimes felt like he was back in there. A soft voice that pointed out every flaw: The gray of his hair, the crookedness of his teeth, his obnoxiously loud voice choked by an annoying accent. Skin too pale and a body too scrawny to be healthy.

He’d recently learned that this may be a condition referred to as Body Dysmorphic Disorder. Jack was never diagnosed and even if he went to have it checked he probably still wouldn’t be. But of course there were side effects from seeing yourself as something you didn’t want to love, or think that anyone could love. Depression, anxiety, the normal common colds of mental disorders. Of course, as the studied showed, most men with these things, expressed it in anger, instead of sadness.

He never liked to think of himself as mentally ill. He’d always told his fans that if they were experiencing things like that to go get help. Saying that and then experiencing it himself were two entirely different worlds. At least he understood now. He didn't want to think something was wrong with him.

He sighed and looked towards his bathroom door. It had been hours since he’d been unable to take any more of Anti whispering in his ear and had locked himself in.

But of course Anti found him eventually, getting bored of whatever had been entertaining him those hours Jack was gone.

Jack could almost feel the looming presence of his dark just outside that door. A hard knock sounded. “You can’t hide in there forever Jack. You’ll have to come out sometime.”

It was ominous.

Anti had never physically hurt him, threatened to, talked big game about it, but never followed through. Jack wondered if he was anything like that.

Anti could definitely be classified as evil, mostly because of his apathy towards everyone. Disregarding their wellbeing, generally being a nuisance, overall not giving a fuck.

Jack didn’t know if Anti understood the concept of happiness. There were times Jack thought Anti was happy messing with him and seeing him in turmoil but other times, he was pretty sure it was a hollowness. Like Jack’s and others' pain was only slightly filling a hole that Jack knew could only be filled when he found his soulmate.

Jack honestly couldn’t find it in himself to give a damn about Anti’s happiness unless it meant that the dark would stop bothering him. Jack did not want to feel weak, useless, or hated. Who the fuck would!? At the same time, he was worried what poor soul’s dark would have to deal with Anti’s bullshit. Anti was a menace and he took pride in that, so he’d never stop bothering that poor soul and dark until he had them under his thumb too.

“Come on Jack let’s talk! I promise it’ll be about something important!” God no, Anti’s sickening voice filled his head once again. It was like he was right back in there, unseen but not unheard.

“Yeah Jack, I know you’re listening.” Jack could practically see the acid dripping from Anti’s fangs. “A little over fourteen million. Quite impressive right?”

Jack didn’t bother guessing where this was going.

“Pfft. Hardly! I mean maybe you’re giving old Markimoo a run for his money but you’ll never be one of the real greats. What’s that other guy’s name oh that’s right it’s PEWDIEPIE! With over fifty million! You think you’re a real YouTuber Jack? Well I think you and I both know that he at least earned them. You’ve just been riding the dicks of those other channels all along, haven’t you Jack?”

No. Jack was clutching his sink, turning his knuckles white, staring at the drain as if it would suck him down and take him into the sewers below. God save him, Anti was literally making him feel like shit.

“You hear me Jack? I’m sorry, did I hit a nerve with the _riding dick_ comment? I just thought, you know,” There was an audible shrug before the aggressive deepness of an angry Irish brogue broke through. “I’d give you a _reality check_. You are NOTHING! You’ve earned nothing! You don’t deserve those fourteen million. You do almost zip for charity, you have limited contact because people can’t be bothered to even text you back.”

Jack almost sobbed. Anti knew Jack’s every weakness, each and every little thing that would break him. God did it piss Jack off. He hated the feeling in his stomach that made his brain feel woozy. He hated the way Anti made him feel, absolutely crummy, a real sack of shite. Jack didn’t know why Anti was suddenly lashing out so much. Sure the two had never gotten along and at least once a week the dark would go off like this, but this was twice in one day. What the hell had Anti so riled up that he’d be yelling through the bathroom _door_ just to make the point that Jack was worthless.

“And can I just point out one more thing before I let you stew on this? Your community… they are a bunch of weaklings. Just like you. You’re so proud of the community you’ve built. Yeah well, you’ve built a community of pussies! They’re all just as useless as you! Each one that comes whining! Oh my _depression_! Oh my _problems_! Maybe you should have taught them to grow some goddamn balls instead of being weak ass pussies like you!”

**_No_**. Oh fucking hell no! Anti and all the internet can come at him with hate, tell him everything that he fears is true, insult, reject, hurt him and break him. But no one fucks with his community!

Jack saw red as he rushed the door. All the pent up anger, and other varied emotions lead his fist to slam into the door with a loud bang.

The sudden out busted startled Anti into something of silence. “The fuck? Did you break your hand, you idiot?”

Jack was fuming too much to care that he probably badly damaged the side of his hand. “HOW ABOUT FOR ONCE YOU LISTEN TO ME YOU LITTLE SHIT!”

The volume wasn’t what surprised Anti. It was the sudden growth of Jack’s balls that caused him to take a cautious step back.

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOTTEN INTO YOU BUT YOU CAN THROW ALL YOUR MUCK AT ME. I DON’T GIVE A DAMN! BUT STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY COMMUNITY! THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE WHO DESERVE ALL THE HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD! EVEN IF IT MEANS LAUGHING AT ME BEING AN IDIOT, A PUSSY, YOU FUCKING NAME IT! IF I CAN GIVE THEM HAPPINESS, EVEN JUST A LITTLE I WILL! NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO AWAY!”

For once, Anti did as he was told. He slunk away, for the first time, properly put into place. But not with out some indignant grumbles and harsh hissing.

Jack on the other hand was still steaming. He turned back into his bathroom and went over to the mirror. He reeled his hand back and shattered half the mirror with his fist. He’d never known he was prone to so much anger and after the pain and blood became more apparent in his hand, he actually got kind of scared.

He looked up at the mirror he’d ruined, staring at his reflection once more, cracked one side, broken completely beyond repair on the other. “How could anyone, let alone him, love someone so worthless and broken.”

He hung his head and cleaned up the mess as best he could with one hand. He bandaged it, got some ice, and made a mental note to make a doctor’s appointment to get an x-ray. Then he went to his room. As he did, his phone on his night stand buzzed.

He stared at it for a moment, then walked over and picked it up. Mark had finally messaged him back. A miracle or grace of God, Jack didn’t care what it was. He just felt so light seeing Mark’s name come up on his phone.

This is when those negative thoughts brought on by Anti were silent. Ever since he was left on his own, Mark was the only one that seemed to be the best person to talk to, to get Anti to shut up. Sure a few others like Felix, Bob, and Wade also helped in keeping Anti pretty silent, but this was more along the lines of what he’d had with his last girlfriend.

Honestly, even if Mark could never love Jack the way he loved him, it was nice to know they were at least really good friends. It was a real comfort. It was even better when they were together in person.

Jack sighed and laid down on his bed, reading the message. **Wanna do a collab in prop hunt with Bob and Wade? Maybe later we could do one with just us! Maybe more rocket league or the forest! Idk, your choice!**

Jack felt a whimper of happiness bubble up in his throat as he could physically feel Anti’s silence.

He smiled up at his phone. Perhaps he’d be one of those poor souls stuck with their darks forever, but as long as he still had Mark, he’d be able to live a thousand lifetimes with Anti.

_Sure._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... What do you think's got Anti's Panti's all up in a twist? (PUNS!) Or perhaps, a who? (Wink wonk!)


	6. Darks Part 5: Dark Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To those who feel the way I did  
> “How does someone so perfect  
> Feel so insecure  
> As to scar their skin with cuts and burns  
> And still want to hurt more”?
> 
> “How does someone so loving  
> Learn to hate their own guts  
> Drawing pictures on their arms with a blade  
> As if their mind isn’t dark enough”?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I don’t know what’s wrong with me. To begin, I don’t understand time differences I just know that they are a thing so I apologize. /I also apologize for how long this took to get out./ Really I do.
> 
> Secondly, Trigger Warning: Cutting. Black blood. 
> 
> If you have these issues it is best to see a therapist or other trained professional. If you need some blunt motivation from someone who isn’t going to sugar coat things Onision is your guy on YouTube. He is often brash and opinionated but if you’re sick of people treating you delicately and pitying you for these things, he won’t.
> 
> The title is from an original song by the same name by Amanda Lopiccolo, it can be found on YouTube  
> This is also the first chapter I am not directly referencing the original story, Darks. Holy shite.

It was late when he’d sent that text. He’d been editing, recording in an endless loop, trying to get Dark’s voice of all his flaws and failures out of his head. But of course, they would not be silent. The voice sounded so much like his own too. Jack’s text had been forgotten until Mark could pull himself from out of his deep subconscious and remember.

When Jack’s reply came back almost instantaneously he felt like an asshole. He really didn’t deserve the wonderful, genuine man he was friends with.

It was a short text of ‘sure’. It immediately made Mark think Jack was mad that he’d made him wait so long for a reply. That’s how people expressed displeasure through text right? Clipped answers?

Mark groaned. He knew he sounded like Darkiplier and all his frantic insecurities. He could change! He swore he could but the horrible lump in his throat just wouldn’t let him swallow the tears that had welled up in his eyes.

He wiped at his eyes, tracings of these tears gone before they could fall. He took a deep breath, holding his arms over his eyes so the light of his room wasn’t killing them. He could do this; he was Mark Edward Fischbach not Darkiplier. He was not some pathetic loser who didn’t deserve happiness. _He did_. He did deserve happiness. And Jack…

Jack was his happiness.

He smiled softly at the thought. Jack didn’t hate him. They were friends.

Mark sighed and sat up on his bed and looked at his phone. He sent another text message. **Great! When do you want to do this?**

He sat back and waited. As seconds ticked by be became anxious and constantly berated himself for doing so.

When his phone buzzed not too much later, he nearly flung it across the room.

_Any time. I’m free right now._

Mark couldn’t hold back the wide smile even if he wanted to. Free… he felt free right now. **Okay great I’ll get the guys. Skype in ten?**

_Yeah!_

Mark was moving, contacting Bob and Wade, telling them to get their lazy asses up and ready to play some games with Jack.

Like the loyal and totally-not-clueless friends they were, they got themselves begrudgingly ready for what they hoped would be a fun filled time with their friends. They set up their skype cams and recording equipment and were in the skype call a little before Jack who was also getting everything ready.

The four fully grown men loaded up a game of prop hunt, setting up the map and teams. Each made sure their recordings were up and everything from their faces to the game screen could be seen. After everything was satisfactory they launched into a round and so ensued dick jokes, bashing Wade, and two of the four men finally getting silence from their still lingering darks.

_Dark knew not to disturb Mark when he was recording unless it was an emergency. But what an emergency actually was, was sometimes lost on Dark, even as he stood right outside Mark’s door, tears streaming down his face and hand raised to knock._

Wade at the moment was screaming as he spun the lamp prop he was. The game glitching him due to getting stuck too far into a refrigerator. “NO! NONONONO!”

Bob’s high pitch contagious laughter rang in harmony with Wade’s cries. Jack and Mark’s laughter was drowned out by the other two's exclamations.

Eventually Jack took mercy on the now sideways Wade now stuck in the side of some red oblong thing that could quite possibly be a canoe. No one could really tell. “Alright Bob it’s your turn!”

Bob’s laughter morphed into semi-screams as the bottle he chose for a prop ran frantically away from the two hunters who had been watching Wade's torment. He tried changing props and ended up falling over a railing and accidentally killed himself. “What?! No oh fuck!”

When the others realized what he did they went into peals of laughter at Bob’s expense, questioning why'd he'd gone and killed himself. All in good fun.

They automatically went into another round after a few moments, everyone still chuckling.

Jack and Mark, as they moved about the map, ended up looking at each other in the midst of their giggles and lock eyes for a moment. Jack smiled kindly and Mark blushed and looked away.

_Dark walked away from the door feeling his ribs caving in to his lungs. The perpetual heaviness that surrounded him was suffocating him again. He didn’t have access to Mark’s phone to look up videos of Dark-Septic, something was keeping him away from Mark._

Mark cleared his throat and proceeded to hide behind several wooden crates as a small cactus. He couldn’t see what Jack was doing but the little commentary told him that he’d found a decent prop and hadn’t fucked up his hiding place yet. But it was only a matter of time before one of the two found a way to glitch the game.

Half way through the game, after Mark had changed into that creepy baby doll that showed up in almost every level, Wade brought up their pirate episode. “Hey guys, I was actually reading some comments on that episode that was pirate themed on Mark’s channel.”

“Really what were they saying?” Bob asked, having a suspicious feeling he knew where this was going since they’d discussed something similar privately before they’d gotten on.

“Was it about septiplier?” Was Jack’s automatic responds, eye roll evident in his tone even if he was chuckling a little.

Mark forced a chuckle too. In every video he played something with Jack, septiplier somehow creeped its way into it. He had no idea how to respond to it considering everything, so he just ignored it.

_Red, teary eyes stared down Dark in the mirror of the bathroom. An emptiness lingering in his chest. The eyes, they were so barren, so glassy and hollow. It seemed he just noticed the bags under the red eyes drawing in his face, making it look so tired. The wetness from the tears he hadn’t yet wiped away seemed to dirty his face. His posture was drawn in and there was slack in his lips even when they were set in a permanent line. It was when his eyebrows drew together, creating ugly creases, did he realized how pitiful he looked._

“Eh, sorta.” Wade shrugged, looking off screen for his phone.

Bob, Jack, and Mark continued to scatter themselves across the map in search of each other, making jokes along the way.

Wade engaged a bit in the banter as he paused in his hunting to pull up the episode on his phone and look through the comments again. “Ah here it is.”

_The dark grabbed his light’s razor and took out the blades._

Everyone stopped their jibber-jabbering to listen to Wade read the comment. “'You guys know that a lot of pirates were gay, right? If anything else, you talking about dicks so much just makes it more historically accurate.”

Admittedly this did send everyone into a peal of genuine laughter.

Bob came out of his fit first and actually managed to find Mark on his way to a new hiding spot and nearly shoot him.

Mark screamed as he realized what Bob’s sneaky ass was doing and made a break for it.

Jack laughed at Mark’s expense and skirted around Wade who had jumped at Mark's scream a little and glanced up at his skype cam. "Mark are you alright?"

Mark answered with laughter and breathless sounds.

Wade rolled his eyes at Mark's reaction and looked back to his phone. He was still preoccupied with looking up more comments.

Jack ended up finding a potted plant to change into and quickly found a spot where he could hide in plain sight.

Wade walked into a side room in the game, playing with his keys, turning the hunter around in circles comically and made a noise as he looked up from his phone. He hadn't had any luck finding what he wanted in the comment section. “I remember another comment said something along the lines of Matey actually being the gay lover of a pirate so when pirates said that, they were either confused or um… lovers.”

**_Stupid_ **

Mark didn’t look up from his monitor, trying to ignore his heating cheeks and wondered if he should move his hiding spot.

Wade walked out of the side room and met Bob in one of the bigger connecting rooms.

“Well isn’t that just unfortunate!” Bob chuckled, “We’re a bunch of gay pirates.”

Jack’s shoulders moved with his laughter, “Well what else is new?”

This made the others sharing the skype call go into some more subdued laughter. That episode had been fun to film and they were glad to be back in the swing of things with each other.

“OH oh!” Wade said, absently fluttering his hand. “Here’s a sub comment on it. ‘Yeah, and any female pirates were most likely bisexuals, having both male and female lovers when they got the chance. I mean their boat their rules right? Fun fact, people speculate that Anne Bonney and Mary Reed were actually lovers and Anne would actually reveal her breast to men she killed as like a finally insult to their deaths. Girls be savage af!’”

Wade finish reading it, “I read that to Molly and she said it was ironic how the dirtiest, most horrible people knew what love was before anyone else.”

**_Selfish_ **

Bob hummed in acknowledgement, waiting for the other two to comment, since this was more for their benefit than his.

He hoped that they would get the underlying message both he and Wade were sending them. It was hard watching the two deal with their darks, especially ever since they'd found their soulmates. Bob had Mandy as a wife, and Wade was finally going to tie the knot with Molly.

Both he and Wade could only hope that eventually these two would share the same fate as them, and maybe that meant with each other. Nobody in their friend group would protest and in all honestly if this worked out how they were seeing it, it would be a much anticipated relief.

Bob hoped that for this rare, sobering moment, where there were no jokes to be made, they would see the light.

_The burning tears didn’t stop as the sink was filled with blackness. Inky and goopy, Dark’s tears leaked onto his drawn stony face, cold from blackness draining from his wrists. Nothing could ever be dark enough._

“Yeah well, I don’t think it was actually love Wade. They were probably looking for a fuck.” Jack said, refusing to look anywhere but his screen. He didn't like the uncomfortable feeling these words were giving, both his and Wade's. Jack moved from his hiding spot and found a different one. He messed up a room accidentally before moving on to another.

Mark stole a glance at Jack, noticing his distance to what almost appeared to be a confrontation, form a bit ridged. Mark couldn't bring his mouth open to say something that could defuse Jack's tension.

**_Disgrace_ **

Mark nodded though to Jack's statement, a film of bitterness lay at the back of his throat. “Yeah, I mean. You’re out at sea for months without girls. You tend to take what you can get.”

**_Prick_ **

“Well, once again.” Bob interjected, knowing it was time to bring the mood back up again. He then spoke with a pirate accent, “I be okay with the gay.”

This got a round of laughter, even if it was a bit forced at first, much to everyone's relief and Mark also repeated the phrase.

As they were laughing nobody realized Bob had managed to find and mercilessly kill Mark’s creepy baby prop until he heard the loud bang and the baby was blown to smithereens.

“What!? No, Bob!” Mark half yelled, half whined. He vaguely heard Jack scream a series of no’s as Wade chased his potted plant down from his run down a hall. This got him laughing along with Bob who was shouting at Wade to shoot him.

Wade couldn’t manage to land a hit before the clock ran out. Wade screamed in faux-anger for not being able to hit Jack as the green haired man yelled out happily at winning for his team.

As everyone finished up their laughing and they went on to the next level Bob announced that he’d have to get off soon.

Wade gave a similar excuse saying it was late and that he did sleep unlike _some people_ and after the round they both logged off.

It was indeed very late for Mark but he was all wound up with fuzzy good feelings and didn’t want to go back to his dark, empty bedroom and deal with his insecurities. He saw Jack begin to take off his head phones and quickly called out to him to wait.

**_Arrogant_ **

“Come on let’s play some more, just us, some quality bro time!” Mark said cheerfully.

"Mark you need to sleep." Jack shook his head but smiled faintly at Mark's eagerness.

"Awe come on Jack!" Mark whined playfully and looked at him with big brown puppy dog eyes.

After a moment’s pause Jack's resistance crumbled and he nodded, putting his headphones back on.

They loaded up rocket league and went at it on opposite teams.

Mark and Jack were beside themselves with laughter as they watched the AI pretty much do better than them. Very few times did either of the two have anything to do with getting the ball into the goal or even getting a chance at it. They laughed at the absurdity of the game's difficulty and so on and so forth, cracking jokes and making their guts hurt from laughter.

**Weak**

Jack and Mark spent hours more shooting the shit and playing games, not just Rocket League or Overwatch or The Forest.

Most of the footage wouldn’t actually get uploaded since most of the time they weren’t even aware that their cameras were on. And maybe later when they were editing the footage for the prop hunt episode, they would realize that too many longing glances were now scarred into the footage.

**Pathetic**

But for the night, both YouTubers could take a break from their outside worries of their darks, comment sections filled with septiplier call outs and their own dark thoughts of their feelings for each other.

Just for the night they could revel in each other’s laughter and bad dick jokes.

**Immature**

At one point, Mark brought up when Jack was coming to LA to visit again. Jack could only shrug and answer with an I-don’t-know. Mark didn’t push in fear of scaring Jack away but did work enough courage up to say he was welcome any time.

The smile he received from the bubbly Irishman was enough to leave his heart stuttering too much and anticipate when Jack would make his way back over to LA.

_Dark eventually collapsed._

When the two finally got off, Mark was exhausted, barely realizing when he laid down in his bed that there was pale yellow morning light peeking in through his blinds. He fell fast asleep only to be woken up by his alarm a few hours later.

He'd also find black goo in his sink when next he went to the bathroom. As well as a dirty razor blade and a weak and shivering Dark on the floor. A sight he hadn’t seen in years, and one he wished he’d never have to see again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m squeamish about this one, I was writing the italic Dark's episode and normal parts together but then I decided to write the two separately, hoping to get the two to satisfaction and then fuse them together. Meh, hope I did it okay and it wasn’t crowding each other or breaking up narrative flow. Should I change it and separate them?
> 
> Also, in lighter news! This is dedicated to the new prop hunt episode Mark released. Seriously, I love seeing these idiots together shooting the shit and being pals. As much as I ship them romantically I'm very thankful and glad that Septiplier is at least platonically cannon. I think that's all we can ask for as Fans. Whatever shits been going on, I'm glad they're still friends and I would never want to tear that apart, */ever/*.  
> So respect them, their beautiful girlfriends, and their personal lives. So that we can keep seeing them together. :D


	7. Darks Part 6: Catching Gl̗͔͞i̗̣̯(̙ͅt)̫̳͙͟m̰(͘c̛)͚̬̭̝p̭̣(̛h͕̩̲̦̹̪)̸̝̙͎̻̥̩ͅs͚̫̪(҉̤̘̗e͇͍)̺̩̦͓̻͓̣͡e͚(s̰̼͕̳̣͎)̡͖

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It should have occurred to Anti that if the fans shipped Septiplier, they would ship their darks too. And with his recent appearance, it was only a matter of time until this sort of thing happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this next chapter is very Anti centric which is why I put the Zalog text in the chapter title, (is that what it's called?). This goes back a bit before Jack punched the mirror and then a bit after. It’s just some of what Anti was doing while Jack was contemplating in the bathroom. You get to find out what got his Panti’s in a twist. *fucking kill me!* 
> 
> Jack's been bringing Anti back with Detention and he posted the last video today. I do hope that he plays the 'happy' ending, maybe not for a lets play, but for reference so he can enjoy the entire masterpiece that is that game. Seriously. I watched GTlive play it and man do I agree with Mat and Steph, that game is art! Right up there with Stanley Parable and Presentable Liberty.
> 
> Warning for Triggers: Discussions and thoughts about suicide. Violence against inanimate objects, again.

Anti was unaware of Jack’s rebellious text to Mark and cackled upon hearing the bathroom door slam shut about an hour or so later.

Dark-Septic was now free to roam without much interruption. So he made his way to the recording room.

Ever since Jack had introduced him in Reading Your Comments, the fans had asked to see more Anti centric videos. To be a bitch Anti said no. However, he did began showing up in more of Jack’s videos, at first just little glitch outs or freaky imagery that he added in after Robin edited it. Jack got angry at the intrusion but the more excited the fans got with every appearance the demand for Anti to begin to make his own videos grew.

This resulted in an outburst between the two. Once again, Anti only disagreed to be a bitch and generally make Jack’s life a bit harder. Anti knew Jack hated to disappoint his fans. Regardless, a bit more than a month or two after the first video with Anti in it, the dark was making his own gameplays and reaction videos. He even had his own play list on the channel.

The fans’ favorites so far were Anti’s growing collection of horror games which consisted of Anti laughing hysterically every time a jump scare or general atmosphere failed to scare or impress him at all. And when they did get him, Anti got pissed and began to swear and curse the game into oblivious. The other section that was growing in popularity was Anti reacting to overly cute and or happy games. His colorful commentary on how much he hated how bright and sappy it was and pessimism and critique that consisted of insulting the creator, made for some great contrast to Jack’s constant optimism.

It always made Anti go off in a rage when he saw a request for some sappy, cutesy bull the fans wanted to torture him with. But, to be fair, he had to admit they were little sadists and he could respect that.

He wondered, as he made his way into the room, what sort of torture they were asking for today? Would it be another attempt at horror he would bash or some fucked up adorability?

Anti sat in the green and black chair, put on the head phones, and began to boot up the computer while he looked at the notes he’d made for which games were demanded of him.

When he looked back up to the computer screen he noticed Jack had a failed to fully log out. Dark-Septic smiled menacingly as he didn’t even think twice before clicking on Jack’s profile. He made a mental note to hack into Jack’s dating profile at some point.

The dark quickly brought up the home page tab. Evilly, Anti pulled up another page and got on YouTube. Jack may have deleted his browsing history on the computer, but not in the individual sights. Quickly Anti found the Watch Again section and nearly gagged. Ugh, Markiplier videos. Apparently Jackaboy couldn’t get enough of the American.

Obviously that was over exaggerated. A lot of Jack’s YouTube history did consist of Mark’s videos, but also of other lets players or things not related to gaming at all. He even had Signe's One Year Anniversary video she made with Amy in his history. It was flipping adorable and made Anti gag at their sappiness. But mostly what he saw was Mark's sketches and lets plays.

Dark-Septic felt a great level of disgust in his gut. Honestly, he didn’t know what got Jack all worked up over this light. Perhaps it was how similar they were, loud, obnoxious, Gamer-YouTubers. Anti was unimpressed. The man just seemed too sappy and sentimental, always so positive. "I believe in you!" Anti got enough of that from Jack as it was.

Secretly it just pissed Anti off how both of them could still be so upbeat but obviously still have dark’s hanging around them. Pathetic.

Dark-Septic snarled slightly, curling his lip and rolling his eyes. He wondered if there was maybe some septiplier video Jack had watched or some sort of fangirl-made Markiplier smutty sexual sound bites Jack had been listening to. Anything to hold over his light’s head.

Putting off recording, Anti searched a bit deeper and found some of Mark’s older videos, the ones without a beard. Mark had been doing this longer than Jack after all.

Growing bored with looking at the light’s face, something in the corner of one of the recordings caught Anti's eye. A glimpse of something out of his peripheral. It moved too quickly for Anti to get a reading on what it was.

Curious Anti wondered if that had been Mark’s dark.

Anti curled his lip to the thought but decided to see what he could find. A few more videos revealed a similar pattern. Something quick, in the corner of the screen would be glimpsed then flash out of existence. It seemed that Mark had introduced his dark to his fanbase far sooner than Jack had. The dark had been showing up in even some of the very early videos, albeit out of focus.

Anti clicked on the video called ‘My Darkness’. Anti let out a rude noise at reading the title and rolled his eyes. Emo little shit.

Dark-Septic watched as Mark continuously spoke about ‘his darkness’ and how he dealt with him throughout his life. The idiot light constantly reassured his audience that if they still had their dark that it was okay and they’d find their soulmate eventually. That they just had to keep pushing through. The light had continuously called this thing Darkiplier, or Dark for short.

Anti tried to pay attention, wondering off handedly if this dark would be any fun to mess with since Jack’s last girlfriend’s hadn’t been too fun to be around.

Impatient as always, Anti eventually skipped forward into the video hoping that the numbskull of a light would get to the fucking point already. Anti had zoned out a little as he tried to find where the dark would be and almost missed when Mark introduced the dark late into the video. And Darkiplier wasn’t in the video for long.

Anti realized he’d missed the dark’s quick appearance and hastily rewound the video to a little before ‘Dark’s’ entrance.

Anti watched intently as the dark came into view of the camera in the bathroom. (Why did that stupid light go through a phase of doing his vlogs in the bathroom?). The dark sat down, hiding his face. Eventually with a bit of coaxing Darkiplier eventually lowered his hoody to show his face.

Anti’s eyes widen as suddenly a surge of blood pounded its way through his chest, launching his heart into a spiraling fall against his ribs. Thrashing around, the organ seemed to no longer be satisfied with its boney cage.

Frantically Dark-Septic quickly paused the video, backing it up a little so that the dark on the screen was facing the camera (him).

After the flailing of limbs on Anti’s part, which left him breathless and subconsciously feeling pissed that he’d acted out like that at simply the sight of someone else; Anti caught his breath. He sat back slowly, his dual eyes seeming to hold the paused image’s own gaze. It was like he was entranced, held in place, he just couldn’t stop staring and his thoughts began to fall into turmoil.

After several minutes of confused revelation, Dark-Septic blinked and tried to right himself on ground that now seemed to be tilted. He shook his head trying to regain some semblance of thought.

He finally, slowly moved to press play again and watched as Darkiplier spent a few seconds staring at the camera while his light assured him that the viewers had wanted to see him. Darkiplier then looked at Mark, his lips moving and voice inaudible. Darkiplier began to shake and his red eyes that had held Anti metaphorically at gun point began to get glassy with tears.

Dark-Septic felt something sting inside his chest at the tears as Darkiplier gasped painfully and then ran off screen. He knocking the tripod a bit before Mark could answer whatever unspoken question the dark had asked.

Anti’s eyes lingered at the corner of the screen as the light righted the camera. The dark watching the video had his jaw unhinged; he’d never had such a reaction just in seeing someone else’s dark. It baffled him, he truly had no idea why he’d reacted like that.

Mark talked maybe half a minute more and then ended with his outro. When autoplay began Anti found himself scrambling to stop it.

Anti touched his head after a moment, silent for once, unable to give himself any coherent explanation. But everything within him was asking, begging to see the other dark again.

With a heavy scowl that had begun to hurt his head, he replayed the scene with 'Dark' a few times. Eventually not able to stand the pain in his chest at seeing the poor thing shake and cry.

He began to search for more videos, all ranged from what Anti had been doing to the very few of Darkiplier talking or gaming. He seemed to speak more quietly than Anti, still having a deep voice like his light, and spoke very negatively on every subject. There was just something about Darkiplier that… agreed with him. He liked watching Dark and every time the poor gray man broke down Anti wished to run his hands all over him in an attempted to give him something glorious to cry out about.

Resting his elbow over the back of the chair, the more he watched the more his eyes glowed, his green one twitched as his thick slimy tongue involuntarily slid over his sharp fangs. Unconsciously his clawed fingertips ran over the hem of his pants.

That delicate, shaking thing looked so utterly delicious. Anti just wanted to rip into him. Bite that solid column of neck that held a resemblance to concrete and make him crumble beneath him. But he also wanted to be able to collect the pieces and put them back together a little better than they were before. Maybe make him smile? God, he probably looked ethereal when he smiled!

How dare that stupid, ugly light have such a beautiful looking dark!

He wondered how he’d never met this dark considering Jack fascination with his light. Anti had stayed away from the YouTube scene for as long as he could. He’d never looked up something unless it was to spite his light. He’d tended to stay in. He liked being the darkness that was always waiting when Jack came home. If Anti did end up going with Jack to a convention, he stayed in the hotel waiting for Jack to return so that he could ‘ _get him pumped_ ’ for the next day of the con.

He also had no real desire to put himself out there to meet more darks. When Jack brought someone home their dark usually was tagging along, in hopes of finding a mate. This proved to be disastrous most times because Anti could barely get along with his light, let alone someone else’s dark.

The most Dark-Septic knew about other YouTubers’ dark’s were if they were still in existence or not. He pursed his lips in thought. If Jack was truly wishing to get involved with Markiplier, then he, by extension, would eventually have to meet his dark.

He began to wonder if or when he ever did meet this dark, how would the dark react?

It was always odd having darks interact. Most didn’t get along well unless they were mates or annoying or depressing their lights by using teamwork.

Anti was never one to tag team and thus didn’t get along darks. There was no point in insulting the other’s lights because, well… the other already did that on a regular basis.

Like that female light Jack had been dating a while back. Her dark absolutely loathed him. Called him annoying as hell. Of course with Jack and her thinking they were soulmates and shit, the two often had to come into contact with each other. Sure, they’d leave their lights alone but they’d just sling insult after insult of each other making a racket that was very evident to their lights. But more to the point, there was no way these two were going to evaporate into nothingness because of their lights loving each other.

He indeed was annoying as hell and proud of it. But still… what if… what if this dark hated him like the last one did? What if he annoyed this dark so much that he hated him and didn’t want to speak to him or look at him with those gorgeous red eyes.

He’d never given a fuck about what others thought about him before, especially not other darks. Anti didn’t know when or why he suddenly started to care about this other dark’s opinion of him. It wasn’t like Dark-Septic thought he had a mate anyway. Not with a pussy of a light he had. One of the few women he’d tried to pursue turned gay as soon as he made it to second base.

That’s how it was with most. They found out they weren’t soulmates and had to wean themselves off each other after falling in love.

Because everyone knew the frustrations and horrors of having a dark, there were not many who were willing to stay with their darks for someone forever (just for love) when there was someone else out there who could get rid of that skeleton in the closet and love them forever. It just never made much sense to argue with fate. There were a few though that took that risk, far between, and they were always criticized to the point of harassment. 

Jack was not one of them, so it seemed they’d both be stuck without someone caring about them enough to notice their absence. Eventually, Jack would die and, having never met his soulmate, Anti would fade away and go wherever mateless darks went after they faded out of existance.

Anti had only wondered what it meant to disappear from existence when he was younger and maybe slightly hopeful that he had a mate. There was a well-accepted theory that when darks had soulmates they went to their definition of heaven. When they didn’t have soulmates they went to what could only be described as their hell.

Anti didn’t know if he believed any of that. Darks were attached to their lights. Darks don’t technically die on their own. Their light has to die before they do unless they are mated. So unless Jack ended up killing himself at some point before a natural death, Anti wouldn’t know. This is a common way people lose their soulmates before they find them, since many darks overtake their lights and eventually lead them to commit suicide. It’s purely selfish for a dark to do this since if darks try to commit suicide and ‘succeed’ they go into an agonizing state of limbo constantly in pain and inebriated from whatever they used to try to kill themselves with.

The thought of the dark on screen doing something like that to themselves... Dark-Septic felt a rush of something inside his chest. The dark seemed to be unstable enough to do something like that. Anti’s head spun as he began to almost frantically look for up-to-date information on Darkiplier, hoping nothing that bad had happened before he could…

Anti sat back, reading that from the information he found on Mark’s channel Dark had posted at least two weeks ago.

Okay.

_Okay_.

**_Okay Anti_** , calm the fuck down.

Anti hadn’t realized his breaths had become a bit short with the thought of this dark putting themselves into an excruciatingly painful coma.

Anti clenched his fist, anger beginning to burn in his gut, mixing with relief and another emotion that he didn’t know. He shook his head to clear it and decided to maybe watch the video, just in case.

This video lead to two, which lead to four, which lead to Dark-Septic eventually watching every last bit of official footage on Mark’s channel featuring Darkiplier. There wasn’t a lot, Dark seemed to only be able to speak about things for a few minutes at a time before it abruptly cut before he broke down too much. He also didn’t seem to have too much confidence in the stuff he was talking about. Much like with Anti’s footage, the fans seemed to enjoy giving Darkiplier either really creepy games or cutesy games.

Dark would either cry because either he got too into the story and when something sad or happy or really anything highly emotional happened to a character, he'd break down and couldn't continue. This was most prominent when he played "Can Your Pet?". If he did manage to finish a story he would wail about wasting his life caring about fictional characters and fake stories and life was meaningless and so was everyone else's who'd just watched him go through it. Or he would get so scared by a jump scare or really creepy atmosphere he’d bawl and freak out. 

Anti whole-heartedly agreed with his statements on wasting his life to fictional lives in games and other mediums. But after reading the sadistic comment section Anti was ready to send them all viruses that would glitch their computers out so badly there was no cleaning it up. They were either laughing at Dark’s misery or telling him to grow a pair. Like they didn’t _specifically_ request this game to see Dark cry because of it.

Dark-Septic gritted his fangs to the point where his jaw hurt thinking of all those nasty comments on the other dark’s footage. From what he’d seen in the videos it was obvious Darkiplier wouldn’t be able to handle that shit.

But as Anti began to pick out a few victims for a particularly nasty virus he began to notice something in the newer videos. The comments pointed it out as well. One saying: “Wow, this is the longest Dark’s stuck with a spoopy game. Wonder if he’ll eventually try to finish the others?”

Anti re-watched the video and Dark’s little mumble of ‘Okay o-okay, this i-is, this is fake, it isn’t r-real. It w-won’t h-hurt me. It’s not sc-scary I-I can do this.’ All while he was picking himself up and large tears were still running down his face.

Instead of a ‘long’ five or six-minute video it was nine. Anti couldn’t help a well of something surge up in his chest. Anti had felt something like this before. He recognized it as pride. Anti re-watched a few newer videos and Dark did seem to try harder, reassure himself more. A phrase ‘if he can do it I can do it’ came up often and wondered who this _he_ was that Dark kept referring to. Probably his light. Still Anti felt proud seeing this Darkiplier overcome something, and last longer in games, even if it seemed small to him.

But Dark-Septic realized pretty quickly that there were repercussions to these feelings. It meant each time he watched Dark reassure himself it was only more crushing to see him give up. There would be hope that he would finally get through a game, then a really bad scare would come up and Dark would fall over again and not get back up. He’d wail loudly enough that he was heard and apologize that he can’t finish the game and the video would cut. It was like it was his outro it happened so often at the end.

The more Anti watched this the more his gut twisted. He was beginning to feel a burning frustration. From what, he didn’t know entirely. But it had something to do with this damned Darkiplier and it was beginning to piss him off.

Anti honestly didn’t remember a time when he was this confused and frankly lost at what he was feeling. It got to a point where Anti had enough of the flame in his stomach and ripped his head phones off and headed out of the recording room to find Jack. Messing with him always cleared his head.

. . .

Anti slammed the door to his room shut. He hoped that it was loud enough for Jack to hear, and maybe he got some satisfaction from it looking like a hinge had been broken. He growled and clawed at his hair. He was rabid with anger.

He flung himself on his already ripped up bed and began to gnaw at the poor unsuspecting pillow. He ended up tearing it apart, the fluff going flying all over his bed and on his floor.

After that deed was done Anti was breathing heavily, accompanying the pounding in his head there was a sort of pain deep in the back of his chest, somewhere in his ribcage finally managed to hurt enough to make him stop taking his claws into soft, easily torn things. He sat on his bed a for a moment, trying to catch his breath. He felt his forehead and cheeks soaking with sweat and… he touched the underside of his eyes feeling wetness leaking down.

His open mouth turned into a snarl as he growled loudly and threw the same hand-turned-fist into side of his nightstand. He did this several more times until his hand was so misshapen that it would take a few days to heal. Luckily since he was more of a manifestation than person,he healed quickly. He finally stopped, panting heavily, his lungs and throat hurting like hell.

He felt sick to his stomach from all the movements. He felt dizzy and light headed. He put his face in his hands, blocking out what light there was in the room, hoping the headache that was forming would go away soon.

He groaned pathetically and fell down on his fluff covered bed, curling his arms around his head. He removed his hands from his face and stared at the new cracks in the side of his side table. He let out a huff and turned over to stare up at his ceiling.

Why the fuck was he so worked up? This was not the first time Jack had snapped at him was it? What could that pathetic light have said that angered Dark-Septic so much?

No, it wasn’t what he _said_ , it was what he _did_. Anti always thought he had the upper hand with Jack. This sentiment was now shown to be a lie, at least this once, and that got under Anti’s skin.

Anti’s purpose was to cause Jack pain, to make him angry, lash out, cry. That was his _job_! And he was failing. He was failing his purpose in life and it made his throat burn with negative emotion. Anti hated it, and to an extent hated Jack because of it. Anti never asked for this life, this purpose. So here was Anti, just trying to do his job and Jack couldn’t even let him do it.

**_Selfish, idiotic, prick of a light!_ **

Anti huffed out another breath and closed his eyes.

It wasn’t exactly like he slept, but it just seemed like all his energy was sapped from him, paralyzed for about ten minutes, lucidly dreaming. Dreaming, of a certain gray skinned dark.

Dark-Septic’s eyes popped open and grit his teeth when he realized the corners of his mouth were pulling up. Okay, the actual _fuck_ was happening?

Anti’s breath picked up a little at the thought of watching one of Dark’s videos again. He shook his head and fought the urge to reach for his phone that he rarely used. The only contact in it was Jack and like Anti was ever going to start texting him cat emojis. Anti rolled his eyes at the thought.

But mid-roll they landed on the nightstand’s top drawer where the seldom used device lay.

He blinked a few times and realized his clawed hand was hovering over the handle, then sliding it open, then pulling out the slick device and rolling back over onto his back.

His head was surrounded by pillow fluffiness as his wide nearly innocent looking mismatched eyes stared up at his phone. He briefly questioned his sanity as his sharp thumbs, tapped on the screen. His bottom lip curled in to be bit by his sharp teeth as he looked through the list of videos as he typed in ‘ **Darkiplier** ’ into the search bar.

He scanned the recommended videos and found a few fan-made videos on him, and wondered if those idiots could do him justice. He’d seen a few of his own, and was rather unimpressed with the fan arts and music selections they'd given him. This almost soured his mood, his nose scrunching a little when a video further down caught his eye, entitled ‘ **DarkSeptiplier** ’. The title card could only be described twice, once as innocently sinful, and the second sinfully innocent.

Anti’s duel eyes widened further and his sharpened teeth let go of his lower lip as his jaw drooped a little, tongue lulling out slightly.

It should have occurred to Anti that if the fans shipped Septiplier, they would ship their darks too. And with his recent appearance, it was only a matter of time until this sort of thing happened. What also should have occurred to Anti, had he been in a different state of mind as he clicked on the video, was that he was becoming just like Jack if not worse in this obsession.

All that did occur to him as he muted the video and simply watched the fan art and edits of Dark and his videos, was that he didn’t much care for the music the moronic fan picked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I hate this I hate this I hate this. Ugh. When this is all written and I get my head back on track, I might rewrite this because I cannot ever finish a goddamn thought. Like seriously, this happened in Hate is Pain all over again. Fuck! I hate this and I am in pain.
> 
> Also, before I forget the thing I said about Signe and Amy's Anniversary video is the equivalent to the Valentine's day video she posted with Jack. I just thought it was a cute idea of Amy and Signe doing that video. Sue me. they're adorable and I support their real world relationships, please do not harass them. The fact that that needs to be said is horrible. Don't fucking do that, jeez!
> 
> Also to give you an idea of those whom would stay with a loved one even when they could find a soulmate, I think would be someone like Onision. I have no qualms with the guy he just seems like someone who would do that. :/
> 
> Also, forewarning for next chapter, it's going to be an intermission/filler kind of thing where I answer questions about this story's plot, characters, and world more in depth. If you have any, please don't be a ghost reader and expect me to answer your burning questions. The chapter will be called Grays Part 1: My Sister is Weird. Look out for it when I update again! Love ya'll, stay well in body and spirit!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks again to Not__Misha__Collins for allowing me to use this idea!
> 
> If you have any questions or concerns don't be afraid to ask, I'm willing to answer.


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